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Las esferas del poder. Análisis de las relaciones interpersonales. 4. Las diferencias de raza y las formas de poder.

Mientras que normalmente buscamos cualidades e intereses similares a los nuestros cuando seleccionamos a nuestros amigos, el contraste racial probablemente, puede tener un elevado interés sexual. Por esta razón, las diferencias raciales pueden actuar como una fuente inagotable de excitación sexual. Las características del cuerpo y de la cara, lenguaje, y una amplia panoplia de tradiciones culturales, todas ellas acentúan las intrigantes diferencias entre uno mismo y los otros.

Las preferencias eróticas basadas en la raza son tan legítimas y potencialmente gratificantes como cualquier otra. Yo no encuentro nada especialmente problemático acerca de ser atraído, incluso exclusivamente, por miembros de una raza en particular. Sin embargo, el racismo -la asignación de todos los valores basados en la raza- puede complicar o arruinar una relación sexual. Un problema que aparece con frecuencia se debe a que los estereotipos raciales pueden fácilmente proyectarse hacia uno o todos los miembros de un grupo, una tendencia que se incrementa en caso de incomprensiones o falta de familiaridad.

Los miembros de grupos raciales muy distintos a menudo se comportan efectuando una proyección en masa de cada uno de ellos creando así, un alto grado de espacio común respecto a lo que un individuo de una raza verá o esperará ver en un individuo de otra. Se comportan de forma parecida. Por ejemplo, con frecuencia hombres de raza negra, me han comentado que sus parejas sexuales de forma repetitiva esperan de ellos que sean súper masculinos, con grandes penes, y siempre dominantes en las relaciones sexuales. Es comprensible que muchos de estos hombres de color se sientan incómodos cuando no puedan o no quieran seguir el estereotipo, y se solivianten al ser encasillados.

Algunos hombres de color de forma deliberada juegan el estereotipo esperado para ganar ventaja en la esfera del poder, especialmente con parejas de raza blanca a los que simultáneamente envidian y de los que tienen algún resentimiento. Ni que decir tiene que, los hombres y mujeres de raza blanca con frecuencia usan sus privilegios de pertenecer al grupo dominante. No estoy sugiriendo que las parejas interraciales esten condenadas al fracaso, lejos de ello. Orígenes, o historias personales diferentes actúan positivamente contra la homogeneidad, contra la pérdida de la individualidad y contra el aburrimiento en el que caen muchas parejas. La llave está en descubrirse uno al otro como individuos distintos, y en distinguir entre las diferencias reales y las proyecciones. Este proceso, aunque preñado de riesgos potenciales y malos entendidos puede conllevar una singular vitalidad en el intercambio de las relaciones personales.

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